Emotional Carnage

I’ll admit it people I am a crier, a big girlie crier. This might come as a bit of a shock to some people as sometimes I can seem a bit hard, fallen out with somebody not a tear, things ended with a bloke normally my eyes are bone dry but put me at a wedding or face me with saying goodbye to somebody and I am crying like a baby.

Twice this week I have been subjected to public crying. On Saturday a friend got married. Her now husband made a beautiful speech about how much he adored her and a lump rose in my throat and a tear came to my eye. The second occasion was today; my wonderful friend Kelly is leaving work, before her manager even started the leaving speech I was in tears, big tears rolling down my cheeks.

I don’t have a problem with public crying, I have a problem with MY public crying. Unfortunately I am not one of these women who looks beautiful through her tears, I get a red nose, make –up runs and my skin goes blotchy and don’t even get me started on the running nose. If I was trying to get a man not to leave me I can assure you crying wouldn’t be the way I would do it as the sight of my snotty, blotchy face would have him running for the hills.

Another downside of my public crying is that like most things in life I find it really difficult to do it quietly. In public places where it is light and people can see me I can usually manage to just keep it to sniffs, but put me in a darken room e.g. the cinema and they become proper sobs. Once my mate Jodie told me to be quiet whilst watching Brokeback Mountain as I think I was embarrassing her.

It’s bad enough when it’s with friends but it’s worse on dates. On a third date I went to see Seven Pounds starring Will Smith, I think my date was horrified that such sobs could come from somebody so small.

I think crying can be very therapeutic but as it makes me look and sound really unattractive and I have yet to find a make-up product heavy duty enough to disguise the blotches and red nose I have decided that from now on if I want a cry I am going to just watch The Notebook in the safety of my own home.

If anybody has any tips for crying and not looking like something from a horror film please feel free to share.