Tuesday, 22 March 2011

The bad patient

I am writing this from my sick bed, well actually I am writing it from my sofa after watching Loose Women ( painful) and taking a variety of medicines, because it's official. I am poorly. I went to the doctors this morning and was told I had a severe case of Bronchitis, was prescribed a double dose of antibiotics and told to rest. What's the big deal you might think, but the big deal is, I don't do illness, it's just not on my radar.

For example I have been poorly for two weeks from losing my voice to having hot sweats and coughing like I smoke 40 a day, but still I went out twice at the weekend, saw my personal trainer and just generally tried to carry on as normal. Why I ask myself, why not just accept the illness and give into it?

It might be because as a kid my mother wasn't particularly sympathetic to illness (as in 'for God's sake Rebecca it's only mumps stop moaning'). Maybe it's because I rarely get ill (this is my second day off sick in four years). Possibly it's because I see illness as weakness (don't ask why, but when people have coughs and colds a little voice in my head tells them to 'man up'), also I am not very patient with sick people. I am not even patient with myself when I am sick, already after only a few hours off work I am thinking 'for goodness sake Beck get a grip a trip to the gym wouldn't hurt that much.' Don't worry there will be no gym activity my trainer was one of the people to tell me to get to a doctor.

As it stands I am not sure what to do with myself. Granted I don't feel fantastic but I am not sure how long I can lie on the sofa dosing and watching crap TV. Is this normal? I know there are people who take a sick day at the drop of a hat but I am not one of them. It's not even like I do it to be a martyr, I think it's just that sometimes I take my optimism too far, believing that if I just act like I'm not sick it won't happen, result epic fail.

What's worse is my motivation to go to the doctors didn't come from

1.The fact it hurts to breathe and I ache all over
2.My work colleagues getting sick and tired of my TB like cough
3.A couple of weeks of nagging from friends that I am not normally ill for such lengths of time

No, my motivation to get better has come in the guise of a very hot, funny, man who has said he will take me on a date on Thursday night if I get better. What sort of shallow person does this make me, if the only thing to inspire me on the road to wellness is the thought of drinks with a hot man and the fact that I can't have a hacking cough and red nose for such a date?

Oh well I am going to try and relax and use my road to recovery as time to sleep and decide what outfit to wear to dazzle the hottie when I am better.