Valentines day what a pile of pants. I guess you would assume from that statement that I am not a romantic and in some ways you would be right. I like romantic gestures as much as the next girl, but I prefer them to be spontaneous and to me Valentine's day is a little contrived. Yes flowers, chocolates and meals I love them all but I prefer them out of the blue rather than because it is the 14th February and we must show the world we are in love.
Valentine's Day to me is a little bit like Chris de Burgh singing Lady in Red, in that people like it because it is perceived to be romantic but really it is the lazy man/womans choice of romantic sentiment. In my mind the day is akin to forced fun the very fact that your been told that it is fun sort of ruins it a bit. The same with the big day of love the very fact that I'm told it's romantic removes the romance.
Also I feel that these big decelarations of romance and love are wasted if they're not shown all year round. I mean surely anybody can be nice and flash the cash one day of the year, but if the rest of the time is spent arguing it all seems a little pointless.
Another thing is the cash, myself and some mates were discussing this at the weekend. If my boyfriend went out and spent £60 on a bunch of roses that usually cost £20 I would be furious. Not only because he has been ripped off but also because if he is going to spend £60 he should really spend it on some shoes or a handbag, things I really will love and cherish forever.
You're probably reading this thinking I am a bitter singleton who is writing in fear of getting no cards, but you would be wrong. I have a lovely boyfriend but it is early days (only six months in), but I find it more romantic that he buys me flowers becuase I feel under the weather, gets me surprise ballet tickets even though he knows he will hate it, does the washing up after I have cooked without being asked and was willing to drive me to work on my first day because I was nervous even though it added an hour onto his journey. That to me is romance and means far more than an over priced gift on one day of the year.
Don't get me wrong, I have posted a card to show willing and also to protect against the fact that if he hasn't listened to my anti-Valentines protest he sends one I don't look mean and heartless.
So with all this in mind my boyfriend is away and I will be spending my Valentines day at the pub with my mate and that suits me just fine.
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
So, I have a new job. It fits all my criteria, it uses my PR skills, it is worthwhile (it's a charity), pay and benefits fulfil my needs and yet although perfect on paper it makes me have to face one of the things I hate. Being new.
I absolutely hate being the new girl. I am part way through my second week and am sure I spend most of my time looking like a rabbit in the headlights. I am failing make any points of use in conversations, as if I am honest, half the time I am not one hundred per cent sure what people are talking about and I am convinced my new manager is probably thinking “Oh no why didn't I stick with my first choice, candidate number two.” This is a feeling that has been repeated job after job after job.
Given I have had quite a few jobs you would think I would be used of the new girl feeling, but it can be difficult to get the balance between being seen as friendly and approachable without being over familiar. Over familiarity can be the kiss of death for any new starter. I remember a new girl in a previous job trying to get in on an in joke between two people and calling somebody by their nickname in a jovial (I'm trying to fit in) tone on only her second day. It wasn't well received and the over familiarity I am sure delayed her full integration into the team by a couple of weeks.
The other thing with new girl syndrome is that there is so much bloody information and everybody talks about the said info so casually that when I am not understanding it fully I start to suspect that I may be on the lower end of the intelligence spectrum. In reality in the 13 years I have been working I have had to get my head round the complexities of over 100 different childhood liver diseases, classic car insurance and the finer points of women's lingerie and how it fits to name but a few, but you forget how long it takes to learn the jargon and procedures of each business.
The final thing I hate about the newness is that deep down I always thing “Oh my God what if it is like this forever, what if I never meet anybody in the office who will chat to me about none work stuff.” This is a slightly unfounded fear on my part as in whatever job I've had I have always been a reasonably popular member of the team (even if I do say so myself). So, it is a weird feeling going from one day knowing everybody, having a laugh, knowing all the in jokes to suddenly being in a position where it is questionable as to whether people even know my name.
In reality I know that in a few weeks I'll be settled and it will feel like I have been there forever, but for now I am going to just carry on doing that smile, (you know the one that you hope makes you look approachable and friendly, but that you suspect might make you look like a lunatic) and hope for the best.