I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front lately what with getting married, going on honeymoon and starting my own business, you could say I have been a little busy and pre-occupied.
Married life is great but, in the six months since we said ‘I do’ something has changed and it is quite disturbing. People have become obsessed with my womb, I mean totally obsessed. Prior to marriage the only person who had asked so many questions about my internal goings on was a gynecologist and even that’s a lie, they don’t ask that much.
Prior to getting married I had always said I didn’t want children, not because I dislike them (which is the common misconception) just because pregnancy, eternal devotion, dealing with somebody else's bodily functions and pushing something the size of a watermelon through the eye of a needle had never really appealed to me, oh and I’m quite selfish.
When I used to tell people this some would give the usual ‘you’ll change your mind’ response, others would just accept it and some, mainly those with kids going through the terrible twos would say ‘I don’t blame you’, but that’s all changed.
No longer is my response adequate. Now some people look at me like some evil person for denying the world of an extra person, because oh yeah I forgot we don’t have enough people in the world. Others are still going strong on the ‘you’ll change your mind’ response. Other phrases now being introduced are ‘you’ll regret it’ and ‘oh what about the journalist, you’re denying him’ like we haven’t discussed it and I’m just some heartless cow who has taken it upon herself to be the decider on all important, life changing matters, and my favourite, ‘but you’re 35’. I’m aware that I am 35, I’m aware that according to the media that this means by now all my eggs have shriveled and died and I am barren but I feel quite strongly that should be nobody’s concern but my own.
My favourite of all lines though, which has been uttered by several people is ‘oh but I’d like you to have one’, seriously is this an adequate response given than none of these people would have to give birth to said child, look after it day in day out, change their life plans or have numerous sleepless nights. Do they really expect that I am going to say ‘oh my God journalist stop now, we must go procreate as these people would like us to have a child.”?
So to conclude, babies have never been on the agenda but never say never, as my mum pointed out ‘the only way I can see you having a child is if you have an accident’. Some people may find that shocking but it amused me as it was probably the truth and none of us can say we don’t know anybody who was an accident or a surprise as my mum likes to call me and my brother (accidents are horrible surprises are nice), some of you are probably sitting with accidents/surprises whilst reading this.
So, I don’t know what the future holds but what I do know is that if a baby is decided upon it won’t be because somebody else wants me to have one, it won’t be because I am getting old and time is running out and if I am honest it probably won’t be because I changed my mind. The one thing I can tell you that for all the questions about my intentions the first person who will know of any change of heart or my need to pee on a stick will be the journalist.