Sunday, 9 May 2010

Oh the Shame

Does anybody else have moments when they feel like somebody else has taken over their mind, body or mouth? I know that this makes me sound a bit strange, I am not talking about voices in my head or seeing dead people. I am talking about doing things out of charecter, saying inappropriate things or just generally behaving in a way that you can’t explain? This is something that is happening to me more and more frequently and I feel it is getting out of control.

In the past few weeks alone there have been several ocassions where I have done, said or thought things that make me cringe. The ones I am prepared to share include, flashing my underwear to the neighbours, admittedly I work for a lingerie company so my underwear is always good, but I don’t think the people over the road needed a full view of me in my bra on a Sunday morning.

Another one, which I do quite frequently is remembering things that have happened in the past and laughing out loud in public. I am aware that this makes me look slightly unhinged, but it happens without me having any control over it.
Last Friday night whilst out, I got an attack of the giggles just because somebody told be his name was Nicholas:
1. That isn’t a funny name
2. The way he said it wasn’t funny
3. I don’t usually make a habit of laughing in people’s face

For some reason on this ocassion the laughter got so out of control that I had to excuse myself and go to the toilet and calm down. This left me not only worried that poor old Nicholas would think I was a total bitch, but also concerned for my sanity how could somebody saying a name get me that hysterical?

This weekend I managed to shame myself by speaking to a man I like in a nightclub and being so drunk that I don’t actually know what I said to him. I remember laughing, but whatever I said I don’t think it’s good as the silence has been noticeable ever since. On this ocassion I will blame not only whatever has recently possessed me but also the copious wine and shots of sambucca.

My mind has also recently been overtaken with inappropriate thoughts, for example whilst in my body pump class wondering whether men’s gym faces are also their sex faces. Is this normal or am I a sicko? Should I even be confessing to such thoughts in public?

Finally the most cringe worthy event of the week was pulling a face at a man on the train that looked like I was offering him a sexual favour. I won’t go into too much detail and I don’t even know how it happened, all I do know is that the man smiled like I had made his day and I had never been more grateful to get off a train in my life.

Please people tell me that I am not alone and that you too are sometimes possessed. If not maybe it’s time that somebody makes a call to the men in the white coats before this gets out of control.

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